Week 16, August 9th-15th is the beginning of the end for us.  There’s just one more treatment left before surgery at the end of September.

This is the time Trish is most fatigued, so it takes extra fun stuff to keep her spirits high.

We need to turn Cancerpalooza up to 11. So, in addition to the usual fun stuff, we have the greatest surprise ever coming up this Friday.

There’s not a chance in hell that she knows she’ll be re-enacting cancer surgery as a crazy doctor in front of an huge audience of friends. Cancerpalooza is awesome.

Q-street and Central

Somehow, under our Broadway musical radar, a puppet show called Avenue Q, won the Tony for best show in 2003.

What were we doing in 2003? Neither of us had heard of it. Maybe we weren’t the only ones because it wasn’t that hard to get good seats for tonights (August 6th) performance at the Shakespeare Theater downtown.

Before the show we grab a quick bite at Michel Richard’s Central restaurant. It was only a few weeks ago that we tasted the luxury of Citronelle, his most famous eaterie. Central is designed to be affordable, faster, but still provide great food.

It is much less expensive, but we weren’t amazed. Her roast chicken was just okay, and my steak tartare was pre-mixed and too mustardy for my taste. The service was fine, just normal. Can a top chef go down-market and still satisfy people? Expectations are so high that I think it’s difficult.

Avenue Q is a snarky ‘finding yourself’ musical about young people in New York City. It uses muppets and is stylized like Sesame Street.

We laugh a lot, which is what we pay for, and songs like “The Internet is for Porn” and “There’s a fine line between love and a waste of time” are memorable.

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Green-Day redux

It’s nearly the same show we saw in Philadelphia.  

Is Komi the best restaurant in DC?

According to Washingtonian Magazine and the Washington Post, Komi is the top restaurant in D.C. It’s not the kind of place you do before a movie or show, because it’s a chef’s-menu, multi-course, experience that is designed to be slowly savored.

The rain pours heavily, a common experience this August, and I barely make it from my office to Komi without getting drenched. Inside Trish is already there looking beautiful. Trish tries to take a picture of the food, but they (very nicely) tell her that pictures inside the restaurant are not allowed. (oohhh-kaaayy)  The illicit picture of raw scallop two-ways is below.

The food is indeed good, greek-inspired, modern, local cuisine. The suckling pig final entree is mouth watering. Some of the greek deconstructions (baklava, spanikopita) are fun, but this doesn’t end up on our top-five from the summer. I would say Komi is great, but not the best.

Hiding food from Trish

I could make the Asian vinaigrette for the veggie salad ahead of time inconspicuously.  But the 40 moroccan tagine chicken thighs (use less cinnamon) with preserved lemon were harder to hide. I had to store stuff in my neighbors refigerator.

The rice and rattatouille would all have to be last minute. The refigerator is bursting with food, some of which Trish innocently asks to eat.  ”Uh, sure, you can have a little of the four gallons of chili”

If you were following our adventure in June you will remember we had a fantastic surprise party in New York City early on in the summer with our long-time, beloved friends from Columbia J-school and New York City.

This one will be bigger, but even harder to disguise because it’s being held in our house. AND I’M FREAKING OUT!

The planning

But mid-August is a tough time to throw a party, everyone is on vacation.  So I patiently crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.  LOL, right.  I impatiently re-sent the e-vite a dozen times to the lazy ones that didn’t respond. I will HUNT YOU DOWN people!

I’m determined to make this a blow-out, hilarious, party that we all will remember forever.

A week of preparation

The week of perpetration begins with my car-filling trip to Costco, Sunday.  I packed and pushed two giant carts up and down the busy asiles and twice, was asked by workers, where my wife was.  WTF? Can a thin man not buy $800 of food at Costco by himself? I’m outraged at these female chauvinists.

It’s Monday, and in between my concealed cooking, I was glued to my laptop, sending out task lists, making spreadsheets, and handling at least a hundred emails.  This party is easily the most complicated thing I’ve done this summer and I really feel the pressure. Luckily some of Trish’s closest friends, Randi, Kristen, Jen, Amy, Allison, Betty and Kasey are helping.

It’s only Wednesday and I have 48 hours left, cooking like crazy, trying to put together decorations, party favors, party games and special events that will make this hilarious. Thank you to anyone that helped me keep my cool and laugh.

Endless boxes come to the house. Boobypens, tittygum, fakeboobs and more fake boobs, a boob trophy, booby balloons a boob inspector badge, 200 glowsticks that say “I survived Cancerpalooza” and fake blood. I guess in Trish’s chemo-haze, she doesn’t pay too much attention to the parade of cardboard that arrives at the door.

The diversion

The plan to set up the surprise begins Wednesday when I casually drop that Amy and Allison want to do something with Trish on Friday – maybe drinks and a movie. I’ve been planning and scheduling most of Trish’s life for the past few months, so it’s not unusual to arrange something with friends. I offer to have them over for dinner too, so they have a reason to come up to the house with her.

As she goes out the door, I have to encourage Trish to dress-up a little. “Why, it’s just a movie?” she says. “Yeah, but the girls want a sexy girls night out, so put on a skirt and some wedges” I know she won’t want to be at the party dressed in the pajamas she was going to wear.

300 minutes to surprise

Cooking like a madman, the first few hours go by quickly. Then the help arrives. Randi, Kristen and Betty set up the decorations, chairs and finish the cooking with me. There are boob toys and props everywhere.

This is the danger zone for spoiling it because someone might come to the door at the same time as Trish arrives. I sent out multiple, explicit warnings to people that they should NOT arrive between 7:15 and 7:45 – before or after is okay. But people make mistakes, so I’m getting nervous.

Surprise!

In Amy’s car, Trish worries that I’m not ready for Allison and Amy to come over for dinner. She’s completely clueless about what’s going to happen.

I see their car pull up and silence the room for the big surprise. It’s not often in your life that you get to participate in such a perfect surprise. Seconds seem like minutes as we wait in suspense.

SURPRISE! Trish is completely floored as she walks in the door. She had no idea that there was a party for her tonight. She needs the support of the wall to recover from the shock and hugs everyone in a gleeful daze.

Mission accomplished. I know that cancer hates the kind of jubilient joy Trish just got form 75 of her friends.

Pin the wig on Trish

The party is just getting underway…

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Buttercream cancer surgery

Somewhere along the way, my brain had this idea that Trish would cut out a piece of the layer cake like a lumpectomy and save the boobies. A labcoat labled “Dr. Tits”, fake blood, and an electric knife completed the prop list.

Trish plays it up perfectly, cutting out the cancer and smashing it to bits before flinging the cake and buttercream at me and the other party guests. I squirt her with blood for extra effect and we all sign the lab coat as a memento (in case she forgets this somehow.)

The glowstick blender

Inspired by this greatest video on the interweb, my original idea also includes blending the smashed cancer lump with glowsticks in a radioactive puree and flush it down the toilet.

So now I need a new blender and I am determined to buy one that will cut glowsticks. Betty has pointed out a combustion engine blender, but I’m pretty sure that would be problematic to use indoors. I’m trying to decide between blend-tek and vitamix.

I will blend glowsticks if it’s the last thing I do on this earth.

Mayhem

If you ever doubted what happens when you mix alcohol and boob toys, I can confirm that you get mayhem. The volume and amount of laughter is overwhelming. The conversations are among the funniest I’ve heard ever. How awesome is it to keep dozens of people laughing uncontrollably for 5 hours?

With so many boob toys lying around, there are many side shows of hilarity. Here’s one from Caroline, Marsy and Betty. I didn’t even know they did this untill the next day.

The Boob Contest

Representing the boys are the moob-men, with artificially augmented decolletage. And representing the women is, of course, Trish.

It doesn’t take too much persuading to get the boys together. Thank you boys!  What the boys lacked in realistic, attached cleavage, dancing skill, and smooth skin we make up with… uh, well I’m not sure how we make up for all that.  It’s ugly.

Carol is our inspector and judge (and she has the badge to prove it.)  She gropes every chest, and in the end, declares Trish and the girls the winners.  The boys were disappointed, but it’s always better to lose to tough competition.

Best. Party. Ever.

Obviously being held on Friday the 13th is a good luck charm for this devilish family. Nothing went wrong tonight (well, except for my blender, but I have only myself to blame for not having industrial-strength machinery.) It was a complete success. I’m so relieved.  A full set of photos and captions are at the bottom of this post.

People from out of town sent her gifts too: pasties from Austin, a Dolly Parton t-shirt and lots of bath stuff from New York.

The aftermath

Trish tries to tell me how thankful and amazed she is, but sweetly fumbles the words. I can tell from the look in her eye that she’s overwhemled and grateful for having such amazing friends. She heads straight upstairs and passes-out.

There is only one more chemotherapy session left, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks everyone that came, helped or sent good thoughts this week. You really helped push Trish through the difficult final phase of this ghastly treatment.

101 Surprises

The party was such a huge event I barely remember anything before it, but there was a whole week of awesome stuff.

• 71) Greenday: We could see them 10 more times this summer and still want to go again.
• 72) Q-street: more enjoyable than expected from a ‘muppet’ musical.
• 73) Komi: Not on the go back list anytime soon, but we did enjoy it. It’s a little pretentious.
• 74-75) Surprise party: There are so many huge gifts in this party, that I’m letting it take up two spots in the 101 surprises list.  Check out the faces of Trish collage from the party. That’s worth it’s own number.

Related posts:

1. Week #8: Making cancer a family adventure
2. Week #9: Why the Leading Breast Cancer for Husbands Book is Wrong. (And this post has boobs!)
3. Week # 13: Does butter help kill cancer?

Miraculously, the little convenience store at the medical center has them at the coffee counter. I pick up a few with tiny packets of salt and pay for them at the cash register.

Among the trinkets for sale are Silly-Bandz, in all shapes and sizes. They remind me of our girls, who are having a great time at Grandma and Grandpa’s – away from cancer for a few weeks.

Cancer and Kids

On the outside our girls have dealt with it pretty well, but I’m glad they don’t have to see her go through another chemo cycle.

Friends and family have done a lot to help with care packages and little gifts for them. (Thank you everyone that sent them stuff, it meant a lot to us and them. Check out this giant bunch of Silly Bandz they got from Duffy and Dan!!)

New kinds of discomfort

The 5th treatment, is for me anyway, the worst so far.  We don’t have the hope and relief that will come with the final treatment, but we’re so deep into the process that the cumulative effects (on both of us) are painful.

The good news is Trish is not terribly nauseous and her mouth discomfort is much more tolerable. We’ve figured out how to deal with those symptoms pretty well.  But the bad news is the effects on her system and brain are becoming much more pronounced.

She watches a lot of ‘America’s got Talent’.  That makes her frustrated and a little grumpy. And she sleeps a lot, which is as good a time-waster as anything.

Without our girls, I feel pretty alone. Our dog, Monty, helps keep me company.  I miss my wife.  I wonder if I’m loosing my mind too.

101 Surprises #66-70

66) A Beautiful Necklace: Candace Stribling is a friend that makes amazing jewelry. She gave Trish this beautiful azure necklace and wrote “this will look great on her, she has a beautiful neckline.”

Totally true, Trish has a great long neck to display a bold necklace like this one.

Candy is growing her business, and you can see more of her stuff at her website (beadnicity.com) or email her at beadnicity@hotmail.com.

67) A bathroom poster of Morgan Freeman: Trish is a huge fan of Morgan Freeman, most beloved by her for his role in The Sawshank Redemption, which she has seen a dozen times.

This summer, he was the featured narrator of a Discovery Channel show called ‘Through the Wormhole”.

Some genius, who I hope was being funny, had the idea to broadcast Morgan’s promo for the show in the Men’s and Woman’s bathroom.

So employees would sit there, on the pot, and from the heavens comes Morgan Freeman’s god-like voice telling them to join him “Through the Wormhole.”

Naturally, this poster is from Betty and Kasey, and is going in our bathroom.

68) The Friday Facebook Flash mob: Tara Dixon Bunch emailed me an idea on Tuesday night, after the chemo treatment. She was lying awake in bed and the thought came to her that we could ‘take-over’ Trish’s facebook by flooding it with notes and updates.

Of course, we could only do this as a surprise, and Trish reads her facebook everyday. So I had to be sneaky to pull this off.  Fortunately, I can get into her facebook account because occasionally she needs me to post something or retrieve some information.

So I sent an email to her 300 friends from her facebook email. (I had to make 18 groups first because facebook won’t let you email more than 20 at a time.)

The opening message was “DON’T REPLY TO THIS MAIL OR YOU WILL SPOIL THE SURPRISE.” Amazingly, no one did. In a day an age where we hit ‘reply all’ instinctively, I was very impressed with all of your restraint.

And it worked brilliantly. She got over 200 posts on her page and as many status updates from friends, including the opening limerick posted just after midnight on Friday morning by our dear friend, Billy, who is also suffering from cancer.

A Take-over limerick for Tink

Said the girl who loved dance and trapeze
When she discovered Big C in her D’s
I will poison the lout
Then cut it right out
Till I swing again on the breeze….

Trish was in tears the whole day, something she doesn’t do often or easily. Thanks everyone that participated, it was an amazing gift.

69) A painting from an old friend. Trish has told me a lot of stories about Jessica and Lori, her two best friends in High School. They got in trouble here, had fun there, the usual stuff.

Jessica is an accomplished painter, and has her stuff shown all over the Bay Area including SF MOMA. We’ve loved her art for a long time.

So with great joy, Trish opened up an original painting by Jessica, called, appropriately for the curcumstance “Outburst”, at the top of the page.   The painting’s dual symbolism of Trish’s ‘Fuck You Cancer” approach and the expulsion of cancer from the breast will forever connect us to this experience in a way only art can.

This is going in a very prominent place in our home, where we will see it everyday. Thanks Jessica. Your art filled an old friend with joy and relief.

(Yes, I know, #69 should have been more explicitly sexah, but it the list just didn’t come together like that.  Get it, COME TOGETHER?  AH HA HA.  Gawd, I’m so funneh. I crack myself up.)

They are used to spending summers away. This helps the with their continuity and comfort. We’ve spent at least a month travelling each of the past three years.

They get time with both of my families in New York, including a few days in the Berekshires, where I spent a lot of time as a kid. I’m so glad they get to go there.

Not least, my job is heating up in August, as will Trish’s medical appointments as we prepare for surgery. So I really can use the extra time.

Related posts:

1. Week #12: The fourth chemotherapy treatment is good for Trish, hard on me.
2. Week #1 – How to kick Cancer’s Ass: Join the Circus.
3. Week # 11: The Costs of Cancerpallooza

To top it off, we are dining at one of the worlds finest restaurants and beginning a Green Day extravaganza.  Hold on to the roll-bar, this blog is going off road!

Off to New York

Downstairs, Trish and I have dinner with our close friend, Angela (Lumira) from the video game Warhammer Online.   We’ve been friends online for a few years, and Trish met her where she lives in Austin last spring.

We try to get a headstart in the morning, but we never get out early for road trips. Plus, I have to tie the girls bikes to the back of our little Forester.  They want to learn how to ride without training wheels while at Grandmas.  I’m a little nervous about the long ride up I-95 with the bikes on the back.

The roller coaster family

‘Are we there yet?’ The 4 hour ride goes as slowly as it ever does on the boring-as-hell ride from DC to New York.

Six Flags Great Adventure is a aging park.  It reminds us of Euro-Disney, somewhat:  lots of smoking, mixed languages, pushy people and smells.  But the roller coasters are pretty damn good compared to ours in DC.   Once night falls, and it cools off, the lines get a bit shorter and we hit the roller coaster side of the park.

Trish and I split up to take each kid on their favorite coaster over and over.  Lily is on a 42″ height coaster. It’s smaller, but definitely not a kiddie one.  And Emma rides El Toro, the 3rd fastest and highest wooden coaster in the world.  She’s absolutely breathless with energy after each ride, and talking a mile-a-minute.  Emma says it’s the greatest day of her life.

On her way out, our 7-year-old, Lily hears the “Puh-puh-puh-poker-face-puh-puh poker face” of Lady Gaga on the park loudspeakers.  She says to me “Oh gawd, I hate this song.  I discovered Lady Gaga and told all my friends.  Now they play it everywhere!”

She’s a Creekmore allright.

Ink48 – home away from home

We close the park at 10pm, and drive quietly to Hell’s Kitchen, NYC, where our favorite hotel, ink48 is waiting.  Ink48 is a Kimpton, and is incredibly affordable for NYC.  We got an amazing suite overlooking the Hudson for about $325, and kings with beautiful city views were $225.

It’s on 11th and 48th, not near a subway, but since that’s the taxi district there is one waiting outside at every hour of the day.  And 10th/11th avenues are drag-strips compared with the inland avenues, so you can get up or downtown quickly and cheaply.

It’s about 1am and we all pass out from a long day of driving and roller coasters.

New York by air

And in 1998 Trish got multiple helicopter rides over wild Morocco when she covered the Eco-Challenge there during the Discovery Online’s ‘Kontent is King’ days.  (lololol)

The vertical take-off of a helicopter feels a little jerky, but it smoothes out as we head over Govenor’s island toward the Verrazano bridge, and back toward the Statue of Liberty.  Past the ground zero construction, we can see the construction of the two pools that will be at the momument.  We fly up the west side of Manhattan and the haze begins to clear a little for us as we fly over Inwood and circle the new Yankee Stadium.

New York is an amazing city to see from the air.  Nothing in the world is like it and it’s definitely worth the (not insignificant) cost to see it.

New York by Sea

Back out in the heat, we wait for our ride on the ‘Shark’ speedboat, operated by the same people that do the snoozy ‘Circle Line’ tour all the way around Manhattan.  I wonder if this is going to be fun…

Those of us that have hair (Oh Snap!) get it blown back behind our heads.  The girls squeal with delight to the blasting music.  The wind cools us off entirely, and for good measure the crew hits us with water guns.  The combo of Helicopter and Speedboat is really, really, really good.  I can’t believe how much fun I’m having being a tourist in the city I once called home.

Rock climbing

Our appointment to learn wall rock climbing is an hour away, so the family camps out at the registration desk.  Trish falls asleep on the couch, exhausted from the intense day.   More than one person pulled out their camera to snap the street-family camped out in the posh New York Gym.   I guess we looked funny.

It was great fun watching those girls fly up and down that rock wall, and I bet we will do that more in DC.

New York by land and American idiot.

Trish and I start a 10 day Green Day extravaganza tonight where we will see American Idiot on Broadway, Green Day live for the opening night of their American tour in Philadelphia and again in Washington DC.  American Idiot is one of my favorite albums of all time, and Trish remembers seeing GreenDay in Berkley when they were young punks.

We get them t-shirts and the seller says they look like the youngest GreenDay fans she’s seen  (she also saw a 90 year old grandma fan that evening!).

I don’t know how good the show would be if you didn’t already know and like the music.  It doesn’t have a plot and it’s very short for a musical – only 90 minutes with no intermission.  It covers themes of self-destruction and redemption,  apathy and purpose, and the transition of youthful rage energy into adult love.

The set is great and the music is well done, although I thought the mixing was terrible.  My brother, a long time Broadway musician agrees that is frequently a problem.

In the exhilerating, but outrageously expensive, pedicab back to the hotel, Emma and I talk about the suicide hijackers and the 4,000 people that died.  I can see her brain churning, but she doesn’t ask many questions.  Maybe it’s too soon.

We barely hit the sheets before we are asleep.  We’ve had months where we did less than we did today.

A Pickering Reunion

My parents have offered to take Emma and Lily for a few weeks in August to help us with the late rounds of chemotherapy, which are usually the worst.  We jumped at the chance, partly because we had no camps lined up, and partly because the girls love to travel and be away from home.

After yesterdays copter flying/speedboat racing/rock climbing/broadway cheering marathon, Trish sleeps in.  And the girls are very happy to watch some television.   I catch up on work and do a few meetings via phone.

Later in the evening, dinner is in our belly, and the kids are in their rooms sleeping. The rooftop of ink48 is packed with thinly dressed Friday night partiers, but we find space to hang out as a family.  That doesn’t happen often any more.

At breakfast the next day, we tell more stories and chuckle at the young kids.  My brother gives the family the biggest surprise of them all – he and his amazing wife Corey are having their first baby in the late winter.  They are going to be great parents.  I can’t wait for Emma to babysit her niece or nephew.

A top ten restaurant

I’m glad they aren’t thinking about cancer as they leave. Trish and I will miss them, but we like that they are having their own adventure.  I get an adorable call from them that afternoon to let us know they are fine.

After a really long nap, we get dressed up and prepare for a night on the town with my brother Stephen and his preganant wife Corey.  We love hanging out with them, especially at the mecca of seafood cuisine ‘Le Bernadin’.

Although it’s been in NYC for almost 25 years, it’s my first time to Le Bernadin.   Eric Rippert might be better known now for his telegenic looks and accent on Bravo and Food Network reality shows.   But he’s been running one of the worlds great restaurants for almost 15 years, is one of only a handful of michelin 3-star restaurants in New York, and has the longest running 4-star restaurant in New York Times history.

Of all the places I’ve eaten this summer, I remember this menu the most.  I know exactly how I would order if I went again.  It’s a good bet they will find me back there again,  maybe for the tasting menu, which is probably orgasmic.

39 steps

A quick review of a fun play:  I go to the theater, usually anyway, for deep acting and emotional drama.  You won’t find those in ‘The 39 steps’.  Instead, you’ll find a farce of a Hitchcock film, the acting school of Monty Python, a cast of four that play over a hundred roles, including a few inanimate objects and staging so clever that you’ll swear you are watching a movie.  It’s brilliant fluff.  I loved it.

Shivers and shakes

Saturday night at 3am I wake up in a cold sweat, shivering uncontrollably.  It’s painful he way my body contorts and striains with the shivering.   The near total loss of control brings me to the verge of panic, but I manage to distract my self with Family Guy on Hulu enough to calm down, and a few hours later I sleep.

The hotel sheets are drenched with sweat when I get up, and I leap out of the sticky bed into to cold air conditioned room. What the hell phappened last night? I quiet my thoughts, trying to sense any lingering sickness, neausea, shivering, sweats but feel none.  I head downstairs and grab some coffee for me and Trish.

Trish confides that she was scared last night.  Apparently my shivering woke her up.  The last thing we need is for her to get sick – immune suppression is a bad side effect of chemotherapy and antibiotics can be tricky or prolong the chemo-therapy schedule.  But that isn’t the only fear that runs through our minds.  We both know that if I get sick, the wheels come off this train. And that’s when we would really need help.

Weirdly, I get the same shivers the next night, butagain I mostly feel better in the morning.  It must be an odd flu and cross our fingers that we make it through the rest of the summer healthy.

That. Never. Fucking. Happens.

Some friends that I’ve known since the first day of college meet us in mid-town for Peking Duck at the helpfully named ‘Peking Duck House.‘ The duck is crisp and tasty, although I could do without the hoisin sauce.  We get ominous fortunes (click on the photo to enlarge.)

Anthony and Allison’s kids are away at camp, and for a moment you could forgive the four of us for feeling like we are real adults, not just parents getting a break.

But i’s just a fantasy. And we know that because we see a rainbow over mid-town.  Yeah, we really did.    WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Old friends and old neighborhoods

Monday we do a nutty thing and spend a few hours at the Russian Baths on East 10th Street in Manhattan. I used to live next door to them from about 1988-1991 and despite being a Russian Studies /Language major at NYU, I never went in because it had a terrible reputation.

They’ve done some repair work and inside is a well run place that amazingly doesn’t smell like mildew.  There are 4 or 5 saunas and steam rooms downstairs and a 40 degree ice bath. The Russian sauna used to be coal-fired and has been in operation for over a hundred years. It’s a pretty hip place today, with lots of good looking twenty-somethings taking a Monday afternoon at the baths.

I love the the wild temperatures and find it relaxing, but Trish calls it ‘Extreme Spa’.  She nearly goes into convulsions in the ice bath. It must feel pretty fucking cold on a head with no hair.

Extreme sauna is no joke. Last month, a finalist DIED of BURNS at the Sauna World championship last month, which organizers say will never be held again.

We pay some guy with a thick gold chain named Gene for a 30 minute ‘Russian Sports massage’.   He pulls on our appendages, steps on our backs and twists so hard that my eyes bulge out.  Trish’s is done with no towels, totally nude, which adds to the ‘extreme’ nature of the massage.

Afterward Gene, negotiates for a higher tip than I want to pay and waits around at the cash register to make sure I pay it.  Lol.  Ah, well, I”m used to it.  I spent enough time in Russia to know what to expect. I actually enjoyed this and I’m glad to see the old neighborhood.

Retro-photography

I get to see our friend Anthony’s newish studio (Green Rhino/Brooklyn Print Works) in the art capital of the East Coast, Bushwick, Brooklyn.  It’s a huge space where he has a lot of room to perfect his craft of unusual antique processes of photographic prints.

The floors are lines with vats of chemicals, the tables are covered with color palate test strips and the walls with all the prints he’s making for photographers and artists.  He talks like a mad scientist as he excitedly shows us the processes for Albumen, platinum and gum prints each of which creates an unusual finish to the photograph.

He also does these beautiful images of natural objects using scanners, two of which are in our house (above).   Check them out.

The very first first mall

We leave the city early to skip the traffic and make decent time down to Philadelphia, site of Greenday’s opening US concert.  The ride out of NYC is always a little sad for me.  I would live there if I had my choice, but it’s one of those compromises I willingly make for my marraige and family.   (And I do love our home in Wash-DC)

The car ride is so quiet without our girls.  I wonder how they are, and know they are having fun.    The concert is really close to the Cherry Hill Mall, which is the first indoor mall east of the Mississippi, dating back to 1961 (left).  It’s a landmark of urban sprawl.

We take in a movie, “The Kids are Alright’ which is very well done.

Green Day

Green Day opens their American tour here tonight in Philadelphia and they seem to be glad to be home.  I don’t know if they will do this every concert, but they played for two hours and 45 minutes, including an 8 song old-school set from their punk days.

The encore has ‘Jesus of Suburbia’ and ‘Wake me up when September ends’.  My eyes water, maybe because I relate to the rage/love themes, maybe because I’ve been jumping for almost three hours, or maybe because those songs put me back to 2004/2005 when Trish had cancer the first time.

Either way we are both exhausted, Trish can barely stand up any more.   Fucking epic performance.

101 surprises

Wow, we are getting closer and closer to the 101st surprise, which will be a doozy I promise!  These five are probably obvious and there were at least 5 more that I could have written down.  This was the biggest week of Cancerpalooza yet.

• 61)   Green Day VIP: VIP doesn’t mean much in this case, these were merely good seats.  But they put on an epic show, and we’re psyched to see them again in a few weeks.
• 62) Great Adventure NJ: The only thing I would do differently next time is splurge for the fast passes.  The lines were long, hot and sweaty in this one.  But the glee on the faces of young girls (and old) riding coasters is priceless.
• 63) American Idiot with the family: A good, but not great musical.  We wouldn’t see it twice, but we wouldn’t have missed it either.
• 64) Le Bernadin/39 steps: Both perfected their craft, Le Bernadin’s seafood was exquisite.  ’The 39 steps’ staging was excellent.
• 65) NYC by helicopter/boat/pedicab: New York is still an amazing town from any angle.

Related posts:

1. Morocco to New York: Days 29 and 30
2. Day 5 Mexico: Creekmores take a siesta.
3. The kids absolutely loved Old City Jerusalem – New Video

The one-two punch combo of dance class and office work is her show of defiance to the cancer and chemotherapy. She does it even though it hurts.  But she knows it’s more important to do it than to do it perfectly, so she goes and tries her best.   And it helps get her ready for for two more glorious weeks of Cancerpalooza before she takes the poision again.

Boobie cake:

But the highlight was dessert a carrot cake decorated with ‘FU Cancer’ on the top and tiny little titties.  Kasey and Betty tell us a hilarious story of a shocked bakery clerk at the Whole Foods who didn’t quite understand their special request for the carrot cake decoration.   The ‘F U Cancer’ lettering was easy enough, but asking her to draw boobies took more time.   HA HA. And she made them sooo small – she obviously doesn’t know the size of Trish’s rack either.

One the one hand, breast cancer is ultra-serious and the consequences possibly tragic. On the other hand, it needs some levity, and there is power in being able to laugh at it.   I found the internet buzz about the ‘I will Survive’ dance by a survivor of the concentration camps to be interesting because, about a much greater tragedy than even breast cancer, it explores the concepts of horror, respect and the power of laughter.

A great check-up from the surgeon.

We roll up to the medical center that has been our second home this summer and walk into the offices of Dr. Katherine Alley, Trish’s cancer surgeon.  We haven’t seen her in a few months. Our last visit was kinda frightening because she grimaced when she felt the lump and said ‘Wow, that’s not good.”

That was also when she instructed Trish to get chemotherapy first, which was not what we wanted because we thought it psychologically comforting to get the lump out as quickly as possible. That visit was depressing.

After massaging around for a good 30 seconds, she said breathlessly, “this feels really good!.” (Ruh Roh. My boy-brain is having trouble trouble staying focused on the medical procedure.) Dr, Alley went on, “the lump is much softer and smaller.  This will make the surgery so much easier. These are very good results from the first 4 treatments.”

Awesome! At least the horrible poision is doing it’s job. And we still have to more doses to kill it.

Planning for the Mastectomy

in her office, Dr. Alley walks us through the preliminary schedule for the surgery.   Four weeks after the last chemo treatment (the end of September), Trish will have six hours of operation performed by two surgeons, Dr. Alley the cancer surgeon and a plastic surgeon.    Assuming there are no complications, she will need two nights in the hospital followed by 4-6 weeks of recovery (but not bedrest – Trish will be up and about.)

The mastectomy, is a modified radical because they are taking lymph nodes too – perhaps 12-14, but they won’t know for sure how many until they get in there and look during the surgery. Dr. Alley is optimistic that she will not need to take all the nodes in the arm, which dramatically decreases the long term risk of Lymphedema, an uncomfortable, unsightly swelling of the arm or leg because lymphatic fluid can’t drain properly.

So for those of you that suggested she get one B-cup and one DD-cup to accommodate different needs, or a trio of boobs (if two are good, three must be better, right?) – you are out of luck. Insurance will only cover symmetrical boob replacements. We are still investigating if four boobs would be covered, one DD-set for my boy-brain and one B set that needs no bra ever.

Please register your vote for the size of her new rack on our facebook page ‘Trish’s Boob Page – Go big or Go home’

We celebrate the great news by buying some awesome knee-high. suede purple boots and a swimsuit (above).  I know right? It takes a lotta’ woman to pull those boots off, but if she is anything, she is a lotta’ woman.   Naturally she gets all the attention from the male help as she tries them on.

Mother-daughter dance with Helen Hayes.

Helen and I arranged to use the time for a monther/daughter dance session that is finally here! Everyone has been excited to do this,

The Joy of Motion new Bethesday studios are mostly empty this evening and we pick the biggest room. Helen takes the girls and Trish through some warm-ups. True to their personalities, Emma stays tightly focused and Lily is a little distracted. But both settle in once the initial stretching is done and the dances start.

There are three or four routines they do, each one displays different techniques that Emma and Lily pick up with ease. They are all so beautiful. Trish is beaming broadly the entire time, and is thrilled and touched to be doing modern dance with her girls. And Helen is completely enjoying herself.

There have been a lot of things in Cancerpalooza that Trish has liked, but she was really appreciative and graetful for this one. It was special, not just because of the activity, but because of Helen, who made this a really touching, meaningful event. Helen does some amazing work with kids at Joy of Motion, and was recently featured at the White House with her kids doing a great piece from Hairspray.

Ten thousand calories of butter

Tonight I’ve struck out entirely, and we have reservations at Citronelle, which have to be made a month in advance.  I bargain with the parents of Emma and Lily’s best friend from down the street to swap sleep-overs.  It works out and we quickly get dressed.

Citronelle is supposed to be one of the best restaurants in DC.   We’ve been meaning to go for years, and it’s testament to Michael Richard’s determination that it has remained great for a decade or maybe more.

Outside it’s bright and hot, but the inside is dark even at 6pm.  There are no windows, it’s a basement dining room.   Trish looks amazing in her gold Louboutins and her flapper costume jewelry.  The jaded hostess tells her she looks hot.

The first plate of the 10 course degustation comes served in a carved eggshell with a little egg salad, and a cool, creamy asparagus soup (right). Tasting menu courses that follow include pea and crab soup, soft-shell crab, seared halibut, a lobster slider, shortribs and a few others plus cheese and dessert.

But by course five we are feeling a little heavy.  The protein with cream/butter sauce pattern is too repetitive and too much.   Every dish is a piece of fish or meat with a cream and butter sauce.  I wonder if the dinner comes with a complimentary angioplasty.

I know it’s French, but it’s also contemporary cuisine and in 10 courses there is easily space for a vegetable or two, even a (shocker!) a salad to break up the heavy.  In truth, for the money, we probably won’t go back soon but it is certainly a fine restaurant and we’ve enjoyed every one of the ten thousand calories we ingested.

It’s 3 am and Trish says she has to get some sleep. As the birds begin their morning chirp and i doze off, I think about how much I love my wife. She’s my best friend.

Corduroy and Dance Place

Courduroy is the kind of place that would fit any occasion, high-brow or low, fussy or not. You won’t be challenged by the food though.  It’s accessable and fantastic to any palatte. We will definitely come back.

Kids and Cancer

Emma struggles a little this week. She is uncharacteristically angry (punching Lily, who probably deserved it) and having tiny tantrums, both things she never does.  When I talk with her, she can’t put words to her feelings, and I don’t press her.  It could be a number of things; the cancer, her best friend is moving away, or tween hormones.

Our family event for the week is Mary Poppins at the Kennedy Center.  This was one of the hardest tickets to get in DC and we are fairly far back, but good enough to see.  I won’t spend a long time on the review.  We all thought it was terrible.  Oh well, not everything is great, and we have a huge week of fun ahead of us to look forward to.

101 surprises

56)    Citronelle: Beautiful, delicious and too much of a good thing.

57)   Mary Poppins: Um, yeah.  Sorry about that kids.

58)   Contribution to JoM: I made a thousand dollar contribution to Joy of Motion in honor of Trish and Helen.  Supporting local arts is so worthwhile.

59)   Sam Edelman Purple Boots: Can’t wait to see how she wears these.

60)   Dance Place performance and Corduroy: Local DC people do great stuff.  Will go back to both definitely.

Related posts:

1. Week #8: Making cancer a family adventure
2. Week #1 – How to kick Cancer’s Ass: Join the Circus.
3. Tinkerhell’s breast cancer returns.

I can’t help but get depressed again.  Watching her with needles in her arm makes this real in a way I can’t ignore.  I’ve been trying to shake depression for a few months, even before the cancer started.  Seeing this makes my head spin.

The killing station

The nurse starts with saline and benadryl, which makes Trish drowsy.  20 minutes later, she is asleep, and the nurse comes back with a scary looking,  big syringe filled with a red liquid called Adriamycin.

The posion is slowly injected it into Trish’s arm via the medi-port.  It’s a lethal, vicious chemical, designed to sabotage little cells, confuse them and kill them as they try to reproduce.   And they don’t entirely discriminate.  They will kill everything in you eventually if you kept taking it.

They test Trish’s heart capacity and give me the results.  Hers numbers are dropping, but she is still in the safe zone.  Her heart has to hold out for three more treatments.

Our medical ‘bet’ is that 6 doses will be enough to kill the breast cancer cells (pictured on left).  More than 6 treatments would begin to be lethal to Trish.

Cancer treatment is depressing.

An old battle with depression

When I was 25, I spent a year on anti-depressants.  I was in bad shape, nearly suicidal.  My life consisted of a tiny studio on the lower east side of Manhattan with no windows.  (Well there was one window, but it had thick bars and faced a brick wall that got no light.  It was worse than having no windows.)

I would watch Tarkovsky movies all day and drink cheap beer.  It was very sad, and kind of pathetic.

I never really had much trouble with episodic depression after that.  It’s true, I never felt totally free of the occasional depression, and I continued my psychotherapy because it’s occasionally helpful.

Worst. Timing. Evar.

But I didn’t feel the need for medication again until late this winter when, inexplicably, the symptoms came suddenly back.  Over a period of a few months I grew to extreme levels of insecurity, hopelessness and rage – often directed at Trish.

It really took me by surprise.  I wasn’t expecting it to come back so hard after 15 years.  February was a rough month for both of us, but especially for Trish who had to endure my misplaced rage.  It was painful on me too.  I felt out of control at times, like my brain wasn’t my own.

And this is all right before the cancer.  Just as I began the meds, Trish was diagnosed.  The first few weeks after that were completely crazy as we grappled with the shock of the reappearance, and my brain tried to adapt to the new biochemistry.

The timing was very tight.  Instead of Cancerpalooza, Trish and I could have endured a new stage of hell if I hadn’t recognized my symptoms quickly and gotten the right help.  I certainly couldn’t be supporting her or the kids this way.

I mostly feel better now, but these chemo weeks hit me so hard.  I feel hopeless again, and that makes me angry and irritable, which requires all my energy to control.  It’s exhausting.

Surprise gifts from loved ones.

So, on this difficult week,  it couldn’t have come at a better time that a few of our friends and relatives sent care packages.

From our cousin, we got a bunch of beautiful smelling bath and body lotions and potions that were individually wrapped.  Lily had a blast tearing it all apart.   Our neighbor and friend brought us a box of mini-cheesecakes from the bakery/cafe down the street.  And an old friend and workmate, sent our girls a package of little gifts that they loved.

If you ever are trying to support a friend through long-term illness – wait until the middle of the treatment to send your care package or gift.   In the beginning, as the diagnosis is happening, we got a lot of very loving and supportive attention from people. But it’s really helpful to get that attention later on too.

The importance of hydration

It’s actually a pretty easy time for Trish this week, which is a relief and a blessing.  The last time, Trish had a terrible time with dizzyness and nausea.  We got some advice from the Doctor that it might be related to her low blood pressure, which she can alleviate by drinking more fluids.

It seems to have worked.  Trish is drinking more, (albeit very reluctantly) and she is feeling better.  We are able to cut back on the medications too.

Overall, Trish does better this week than any previous treatment.  She is even able to go to our daughters theater camp performance on Friday, something we didn’t expect she would be able to do.  Our girls were very, very happy that she was there.

101 surprises

• 51)   Nichole Miller ruched dress: This beauty looks even better on her curves than this mannequin.  Drool.



• 52)   Suede platform sandals from Mea Shadow: Hawt heels that are oh-so-comfortable.

53) Kennedy Center Dance Subscription: A six-show subscription to the 2010-11 contemporary dance program at the Kennedy Center.

55)   Susan Farber Clutch/Purse: This new purse is more elegant than the Alexander Wang hobo I bought her a few months ago, and she likes that it’s not as heavy when we are standing around at dinner or a concert.

Related posts:

1. Week #1 – How to kick Cancer’s Ass: Join the Circus.
2. Week #3: How Heidi Montag will Cure Trish’s Cancer.
3. Week #15: The Egg-Man and Wormholes: Are we loosing our minds?