If you came here because you saw the amazing video on the New York Times site, welcome. This site is a travel blog that charts our many trips to fantastic international (and a few domestic) destinations. Inside, you can find our (more or less) complete list of trips.
Our travel blogs are done in real time, with only a few exceptions. I post every day we are on the road, and there are always pictures. If you have been following our journey all along you already know this. Thank you for the love and support you’ve shown us.
We were approached by the New York Times and a sponsor (Holiday Inn) to do a short video this summer, about our journeys across the earth and through the grief and pain of Trish’s death.
It was an amazing experience, mostly because the producers, Blue Chalk Media, did an amazing job capturing the essence of our experience.
Humans deal with grief with stories. We construct an internal account that explains the cold hard randomness of the universe. It’s a coping mechanism. We have several (circus, rock and roll) but the most important is the travel narrative: We are fulfilling her legacy and keeping her in our memory by overcoming our fears and exploring the surface of the planet.
Seeing it captured so beautifully in my daughters’ words on film is validation that it’s become our identity. It’s not just a gimmick. It’s real to us. Lily said to us afterward “I can’t believe I dove in the water. I don’t know if I could even have done that if Mommy was alive!”
And the shoot was cathartic for the girls. They have been in talk therapy since Trish passed, and that’s been incredibly helpful. But they do it seperately and in a clinical context – the therapists office. Here, they were (at first forced) to talk about their relationship to their mom right outside the spot she was buried, or on a boat after a scuba dive. And they talked together, hearing what each other felt. This is only a 5 minute video, but we have hours of amazing dialog from both girls.
Blue Chalk has given me all the original footage of their interviews. Imagine how valuable that will be to them as adults? One of the biggest things kids ask as adults when their parent died young is “What was I like when it happened?” This will answer that. I wish all grieving children could get this blessing.
But perhaps the most amazing thing about the Florida shoot, was the role my new partner Amanda played. Amanda has been in my life for over a year, and she’s been a growing (and welcome!) presence in the girls lives. She came with us on the trip and was in the words of the producers ‘a saint’.
She helped us with the gear, she was there for a hug when I needed it and knew exactly when to lighten the mood or let it stay somber. Emma, Lily and Amanda all seperately said to me on that trip – “we feel like a family now’. Amanda’s ability to be supportive and loving of all three of us, even when we are dealing with grief and loss of our lost mom and wife, is saintly. I’ve come to realize from that experience, that Amanda loves Trish too.
The effects of this documentary video on all of us have been profound. To have it posted on a venerable site like the New York Times, is nothing short of amazing. Trish’s impact is wider than she could ever have imagined.
Keep travelling, collect stories, live vibrantly.